She awoke in a dark room with greenish-grey walls. The rusty metal blinds were pulled down, blocking any small rays of light from creeping through and disturbing the dullness. That was the first thing she noticed as soon as her mind could function again. The young woman moaned quietly at the pain in her head. Did somebody drug her earlier? Was it in the juice? In the water? Yes? Earlier she had been at her sister's wedding. Or was it yesterday? Two hours ago? The blinds were too thick to allow her to know. If there had been some light at least, she could have figured out what time it was. It felt like ages had passed since the wedding. She'd been clapping and smiling at her sister and brother-in-law alongside the rest of the guests. They seemed like a happy couple, her sister and her husband. They looked like they'd be happy together. She suddenly heard a crash and her sister screaming. The brother-in-law yelled angrily and there was a slapping sound and a cry of pain. The young woman turned her head with a little gasp. She was in a chair. There were ropes cutting into the flesh of her wrists and ankles. She was still in her ball gown. She tried to move, but discovered there was a thick chain around her torso. She didn't even notice it until now. She honestly began to wonder what had happened. Was it a dream? The young woman turned her head to the ceiling. There were dead fish hanging above her head. Not one fish, no! But thousands and thousands. All gleaming silver with red circles around their tails and hung with wires by their fins. Their gaping eyes stared at her. Thousands of pairs of eyes. All staring, all sharp. The young woman screamed. She tried to struggle and get her wrists free. There were fishing spears leaning on the wall. Her chair shook with her motion and made her remember something. The children! She had adopted two infants her twentieth year. They were still waiting at the apartment for her! A boy and a girl. What would they say? Who would take care of them? A single mother who had gone to her sister's wedding one Sunday evening and never returned. What would the children think? Would they be worried? Will they starve? Would they miss her? She never thought to give them direction. She never thought she could be abducted. The young woman gritted her teeth and strained harder on the knots, which only succeeded in getting her wrists raw and red. They were tied in such a way that she couldn't even move them an inch away from the chair. She swore, something she hadn't done in a long time. Without her, without her work, her children would starve. She had to get free and find out who did this and bring them to justice. Why her? She wasn't important. She had a simple job. It wasn't like she was rich or anything. She wasn't that pretty, if people still kidnapped for that sort of thing. She was just a woman. An average woman with dreams and ambitions she would never be able to chase. She lived in Apartment 101C, with two bedrooms and a full bathroom. It was in the heart of the city, where it was most crowded and dusty and unbearable and dirty. Her building was so high up in the sky because of the cramped spaces. Cardboard and scrap metal. Yes, her apartment hadn't been anything fancy. She'd like to think it was below average quality, but it wasn't alright to complain. She wondered, was it a fisherman? She looked up again at the wall of eyes above her head. Their mouths were all that same shape, that same wailing expression. She breathed heavily, trying again with the ropes on her ankles. Abruptly, there were footsteps just outside the door, which suddenly flunged open. The woman gasped and turned her head around as far back as it goes. There was a figure draped in black. From the build, she guessed it was a man. Short, bone thin. He wore a gas mask and held a sharp knife in his right hand. The woman froze. She didn't know what to do. Why hadn't the university taught her anything about what to do in this situation?! Why hadn't her mother taught her? Why hadn't anyone? Was it because they didn't expect it? Never expected it? "Give me back my children." He said in a broken voice, sprinting up to the chained woman and pointing his knife at her. The young woman didn't respond, just stared with widened eyes. "Give them back!" He cried again. "You stole my children!"
"T-that's not true." She said quietly. "I adopted them legally -- papers and everything. Are they your children?"
"Give them back, give them back!" The man exclaimed. He stuck the knife in the woman's knee, to which she howled out in agony. "I went to jail because of you," He hissed, the gas mask making his voice terrifying. "all I wanted was to have my children back and you stole them!" He worked with the knife, popping the woman's knee from the socket. She screamed again. "Please stop!" She sobbed. "I didn't--" she bit her lip and rocked in her chair, as much as the chain would let her. The pain was too fierce and she couldn't feel her knee. So this was about the children themselves. Who was this man? Yes. Now she remembered. There was a short man at the wedding too... he even sat at the same table as she did. The woman hadn't really paid attention, but she could feel the man watching her at times. Even though she did remember him passing her the jug of water with a smile. She hadn't even known him, and now she was sure her sister and brother-in-law also didn't. But if this was going to be an argument about her children... well. She wasn't going to give them up to this madman with a gas mask and she wasn't going to give them up to the staring wailing fish. With a wet face, she angrily lunged forward with the chair in all her might, toppling over the insane man and crushing him under her weight. It wasn't that she was heavy, but because that he was so scrawny. "I'm not giving up my world." She hissed, heaving up against the chains and slamming back down again, on his face. A quick fight commenced while the fish only stared, blubbering with unblinking eyes.
wHOA I'm breathless!! This piece is so full of angst and yet so thrilling at the same time! The way it starts with its forbidding uncertainty at the start, and all of a sudden lurches into a dilemma so mysterious and sinister, is just phenomenal... I particularly like your choice in keeping the protagonist's identity anonymous to induce extra curiosity and the way you slowly built up the setting through the use of questions and feelings of turmoil! :D The way you've tied the overall passage with the theme of hanging, emotionless fish gives a striking motif and kind of gives me gargoyle vibes! xD What's more, the sudden appearance of the mysterious man with the gas mask and knife abruptly injects fear and a spine-chilling sense of foreboding to the writing... honestly, I was scared for her! ;-; You've built up her innocent, caring personality so well, the way she will do anything to protect her adoptive children! T.T But aahhh why'd you end it on that cliffhanger?? I was just on the edge of waiting to know what would happen and maaan you blew it, why. D': Anyway, it's incredible that you ended it this way, almost as if the fish are watching her knowingly from the start! Wow this was just so breathtaking, I'm really enjoying reading your excerpts ahhh!! <3 (and I'm so many months late commenting, years maybe! ;-;)
ReplyDeletewhy is this comment so short, my comments never do your writings justice *cries* <8(
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