Tuesday, November 1, 2016
Choosing Between Worse and Worse
A stomachache or an ache to the head? Which would you chose? Ah, it doesn't matter what you choose because I'd take them both for you and you'll never have to pick, because, honey, dinner's on me, and it's only fair I spare you any trouble. You're my guest, after all. Oh, don't look at me like that, darling, of course I'm sure. Ha ha! I'll be fine! You're only ever so delicate and soft, and you're in a military uniform, heck, who in the world like that can handle the menu? Ha ha! Don't make fun of me! Why, dearest, why would you want to leave? You're my prisoner, after all, in this mansion. You can't leave. I need you to bring the dogs home for me, you're the only one who's good at it, and I'm terrible with animals. Oh yes. Ha ha! Me, mad, no! But that aside, would you rather then have a heartbreak or a heartache? Oh really? You can't stomach that? Figures. I'd very much rather get the dogs in, and they can eat much more than you can. You're weak. It makes me wish you'd stop yelling at your mother at home. Huh? Yeah, yeah I've seen it all darling. She's old, and she loves you, but you hit her once or twice in the face because she told you not to go so and so with so and so. Figures, you're crazy. Ha ha! Oh no, no I'm not making fun of you! Quite the contrary. But now's not the time for that, your mother wished for me to teach you discipline, and you will learn those lessons. Penny, call the dogs in, we'll give him a taste of him own yellin', that's for sure. Brace yourself, it's gonna be loud. Whoo! Ha ha! Yes, yes I'm crazy, me! Sorry kiddo, but you should have picked the headache from the start, because then you wouldn't be in this mess.
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How have I not seen this blog before, oops. Rolf and I will definitely have to come pack here and comment on all of these!
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What a read! This is very different from the other writings you've posted because this time it feels like the main character themselves is the uncanny one haha. Having said that, it reminds me of that concept where the villain prevents the main character from speaking and rambles on and on to present their thoughts... except here I can't tell if the protagonist really is that kind of evil, although I suppose they aren't quite. It's riddled with irony and mocking! And perhaps a few dad jokes... xD One particular line I was amused by was "would you rather then have a heartbreak or heartache?" as it brings you back to the beginning which starts with the decision of stomachache or headache. The repetition of "Ha ha!" throughout the extract adds a very, ah, humorous tone. xD Strange how the main character wants the other with the military uniform to look after the dogs eh? (I like how this is making me think lol.) Ahh the ending is both ridiculous and fantastic! It's a crafty way of bringing you back to the beginning... as if we're reading this as in a second-person game where you have to pick your path, if that makes sense. Absolutely love the way you've written this!! <3
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